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My first day, let's see what it will be like
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Hi! My name is... well, let's leave it without a name for now, because sometimes it feels like I haven't found my real one yet. I'm that girl who always smiles at strangers, even on a tough day. People often say I'm very sweet. Not in a "cute cover girl" way, but genuinely: I truly enjoy the little things, love giving compliments, hugging friends like we haven't seen each other in years, and I believe that one kind word can change someone's day. I'm soft, like a warm blanket on a rainy evening, and bright, like the first rays of spring sun. But behind that softness hides a whole universe of feelings, thoughts, and dreams.
I read constantly. Books are my second home. I always have at least one with me, or more often—an e-reader packed to the brim. I can devour light romance in one evening, then spend a week dissecting complex philosophy or psychology. I love the classics: Dostoevsky teaches me to understand the dark corners of the soul, Jane Austen—to believe in love no matter what. Modern authors—Donna Tartt, Sally Rooney, Haruki Murakami—help me feel like I'm not alone in my strange thoughts and loneliness. Fantasy and sci-fi are an escape: there you can be anyone, live in worlds where magic is real. And non-fiction: books about habits, creativity, finding yourself. My inner world is incredibly rich. It holds dozens of stories I'll write someday, hundreds of ideas waiting to come to life, and an ocean of emotions that sometimes overflows so much I don't know what to do with them.
I often feel a bit out of this world. Like I'm living on a different frequency. Everyone around discusses everyday things: work, chores, TV shows, but I want to talk about how music can heal, how a book can change your view of life, how dancing makes you feel alive. I'm searching for my people. That very audience who will understand my words, my movements, my thoughts. I write—poems, short stories, diary entries, social media posts that sometimes get responses, and sometimes sink into oblivion. I film dance videos but hesitate to post them. I dream of creating something of my own: maybe a blog, a podcast, a channel where I'll share what I love—music, books, dances, reflections on life. I want my words to reach those who also feel a bit lost in this big world. So that someone writes: "God, I thought I was the only one who feels this way."
Most of all in the world, I love to dance. Not in a studio, not on stage (yet!), but just for myself. I turn the music up loud, close my eyes, and surrender completely to the rhythm. Dancing for me is a way to speak without words, to release emotions that don't fit inside. When The play, my heart beats in sync with the drums. "Mr. Brightside" is pure adrenaline—I jump, spin, sing at the top of my lungs, even if my voice cracks. "When You Were Young" makes me remember dreams, what we were like in our youth—full of hope and belief that anything is possible. "Human" is about me: "Are we human, or are we dancer?" I'm definitely a dancer. I also adore "Shot at the Night," "Read My Mind," "Smile Like You Mean It." Their music is like the soundtrack to my life: energetic, a bit melancholic, but always with light at the end of the tunnel.
But with all this inner fullness, I really miss real communication. Deep, meaningful connection. I'm an introvert with sudden bursts of extroversion: I can spend days alone, walking with headphones, reading in a café, watching people and inventing stories for them. But then a wave of longing hits—for conversations until dawn, for someone to understand me without extra explanations. I want to talk about the meaning of life, fears, things that scare and inspire us at the same time. I want to share music, books, memes that only "my people" would get. I want comfortable silence and laughter that comes from the soul. I miss people with whom I can be vulnerable without fear of it being used against me. People with whom I can be weird, dreamy, overly emotional—and that's okay.